THINKING OF YOU?

From the time i wake up and never knew my self at all i realize that i do want everything... perfect relationship, happy family , huge bank account , plenty of friends, successfull bussiness , a good job .

Is it this thing the issue why i have a lot of troubles when it comes to decission making? or i just tend to lie just to be happy...

Or in the other hand do i need to be successfull first in order to be happy? many facts running my mind and can't help it but wondering how did i came out this way?
I almost forgot all the dreams i made way back in my childhood. . .

I'm not suppose to be like this or should i just need to be punished for all the mistakes i committed before i can do the right one?

As i was talking to meliza last night, we suddenly came out with the idea that things happened to me repeatedly... so can i consider this thing done repeatedly also? and that one day i woke up and suddenly feels nothing at all again?